Called student loans, was told that NOW, the provincial government needed to issue me a NEW "certificate of eligibility," which by the way the last time I called, the National Loans people TOLD ME THEY HAD RECEIVED. So, called the provincial government, who told me I still had a federal restriction (from back when the idiots charged me loans payments even though I was a full-time student) on my file, and that was why they hadn't sent in the certificate. So back I went to the federal loans idiots, who told me I had to call back tomorrow, because their Case Review department is closed. Now I have to call back tomorrow and hope to god that they can sort it out, because until they send the BC government something called a Clearance Letter, BC won't send me the form I need to have filled out (AGAIN) and sent back by December 31st, OR I DON'T GET MY MONEY, BUT IT STILL GETS ADDED TO MY PRINCIPAL. WHAT THE FUCKING FUCK. *tears out hair*
Cannot tell you how utterly sick I am getting with thinking everything's done, asking if everything's done, being told everything's done, and then calling up two weeks later to ask after my still-absent money only to be told there's some NEW form they haven't got and didn't tell me about last time.
This morning, I called the National Service Centre, who told me sending the request to the federal government to lift the restriction (That's right - Tricura Canada or whatever-the-fuck they're called have all the authority of Revenue Canada, who is actually in charge of disbursing loans, but none of their actual power. They can call and bitch you out, they can wave their hands incompetently and fail to get anything done and screw up your account through sheer incompetence and completely fuck up your credit, but they have no direct ability to fix their mistakes or lift restrictions they initially had put in place.) would take three days, after which it would take the federal government TEN BUSINESS DAYS to notify BC (presumably after which point it would take BC another week to send me out the necessary forms which I have to fill out and then send back and oh god I have to have all this done before the 31st oh god). I responded to the lady on the phone with "uh, what?" and panicked and wheezed and flailed at her, explaining that I needed to have all this done by the 31st, and she (as I picture it) opened and closed her mouth like a fish and then offered to transfer me directly to the federal government.
The guy there asked me a couple of questions, put me on hold, called the National Service Centre to verify some things, and then came back and told me the restriction (which by the way never should have been placed on my file except for a fuckup that happened due to nobody in the federal government - or rather, any of the half-dozen private contractors now doing the work of one federal agency - actually TALKING TO EACH OTHER) would be lifted within 48 hours. Long story short, I should be able to call the provincial government on Monday, have them re-issue my "certificate," get it in the mail (The MAIL. 2008 and they still have to send these things BY MAIL.) by Thursday, get it filled out, send it back during business hours (kind of a must at this point) and all benevolent theoretical deities willing, the National Service Centre idiots will have it by the 23rd/24th.
Of course, if they don't, the whole thing's moot, because Canada Post is even more useless than usual during the holidays. Did I tell you guys how they misplaced one of our map shipments? It was going to France, but it may never have left Maple Ridge. We had to send the guy a new one, and we can't even claim the insurance probably 'til January, as the administration is ON STRIKE. AGAIN.
So, yeah. I don't get this sorted out, I'm totally broke in January. Happy New Year! *muttergrumble*
At this point, on top of my Mum's whole thing with my grandpa's posthumous tax debacle, I'm seriously considering calling Global or the CBC or something. You want proof that the Conservative federal administration is in a state of chaos and despair? You want to know why contracting out federal services doesn't work? WELL HERE YOU GO. Who's been fucked over by the federal government lately and wants to be on TV? I feel it's our responsibility to keep up the quality of ridiculous political theatre in this country during the governmental hiatus. :)
EDIT: Our MLA sent me a Christmas card, no doubt due to all the fun times we had together while they were trying to tell the provincial Medical Services Plan people just where they could shove it. It came with an invitation to their holiday open house. Hm. o.O