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Chandri's SGA Fic on LJ

This may at some point become my "My Fic On LJ" post (because redundancy is KEY, boys and girls, or at least it is KEY to my not going wibbly because I had a harddisk crash), but for now I can't be bothered to list them all out again. So if you're looking for other fic by me that is not mainly John Sheppard and Rodney McKay necking in a storage closet, I suggest you make your way to my website and peruse the Fandom page.

Some are cross-referenced. Please ignore this.

Re: Podficcing, Re-mixing, etc.: Blanket permission = granted. Just, make sure I know about it, please. These are the shallow rewards I reap when the actual world bites. ;)

Catalysis 'Verse Stories:

Catalysis [read on my website] - (hard R|~62,000 words|slash|John/Rodney|spoilers through Spoils of War|graphic depictions of violence and PTSD - angsty, no, seriously, I warned you)
When the ground shakes, short, sharp, and sudden, late in the morning of the third day, John is on his feet and running before the people on the street have even started screaming. Smoke is rising from the central power station, a hard-edged black gash in the pale green sky.

Breadth [read on my website] - (PG|~2,000 words|slash|John/Rodney|Deleted scene from Catalysis, dug out for the mcsmooch community)
Somehow, while it was happening, it hadn’t seemed strange at all that Rodney would be the one to kiss him first. Insofar as such things are concerned they were both of them pretty much cowards, but Rodney was impulsive with people like John was impulsive with things that went very very fast. John thought the image of Rodney bearing down on him, eyes unbearably blue and face determined and angry as he leaned in to crash their mouths together, would be burned into his memory until the day he died.

Balancing the House [read on my website] - (G|~3,500 words|gen||written for the Family challenge on sga_flashfic)
Jeannie is nineteen years old when her father dies, and she gets the call at school, phone ringing loud in the dead of night. Her roommate grumbles and curses and rolls over as Jeannie scrambles to the foot of her bed and picks up the phone, cupping her hand around the receiver and whispering "hello?"

It's Aunt Caroline, and she sounds tired and brittle even over the telephone line.

"Jeannie, honey," she says, "I've got some bad news."

Jeannie knows what she's going to say before she says it. She’s always been smart.


Sweater 'Verse (In which Jessica Fletcher is Rodney's Great-Aunt) Stories:

Knitted Goods [read on my website] - (G|~1,300 words|slash|John/Rodney|written for cliche_bingo)
When it happens, it's just one of those weird things that happens when you're friends with Rodney McKay - random, bizarre, and the kind of thing you note, mock, and then carry on as though it's never happened. John walks into Rodney's quarters without knocking one day and finds Rodney sitting on his bed wearing a cardigan sweater with whales on it.

Casting On [read on my website] - (NC-17|~21,000 words|slash|John/Rodney)
In Rodney's opinion, anybody who thinks that Jessica Fletcher is sweet clearly just isn't paying very close attention.

Stockinette [read on my website] - (G|~600 words|pre-slash|John/Rodney|for mcsmooch)
When John first sees Rodney in the sweater, he spends a lot of time imagining kissing Rodney in it.

Episode Tags:

Schadenfreude Pie [read on my website] - (PG-13|~6,000 words|slash|John/Rodney|episode tag to Quarantine)
Because even otherwise level-headed people on any remote posting will jump at the tiniest piece of gossip – and John can’t think of any posting more remote than Atlantis – it’s barely an hour into the evening meal before everyone knows about Rodney and Katie Brown.

At Least in This [read on my website] - (PG|~5,500 words|slash|John/Rodney|episode tag to The Last Man)
It's indescribably, painfully humbling, for John to stare at the bent shoulders and the smiling face and realise that of all things, it was the parts of Rodney that Rodney himself couldn't control, couldn't settle, was never comfortable with, that he risked so much to save. To make sure it was there for John when he needed it. And it's funny, too, because he can imagine Rodney's outrage when he realised that of all things, the soul was the one thing that couldn't be measured.

Nothing You Could Do [read on my website] - (~1,600 words|G|John/Rodney|written for mcsmooch's Emergency Smooching Session of the week of August 18th, sort of tag to The Daedelus Variations)
But things are always happening that he can't control, not even a little, and then they lose Teyla. And they get her back, but there's a lot in between that first moment of heart-stopping terror and him skipping forty-eight thousand years and the end of the world and Rodney sulking over not getting to hold the baby and then, Teyla's placing Torren in his arms while Rodney beams and John makes fun. His head's spinning, and he feels himself making a face, because it feels like he's just fast-forwarded, like he's lived the last several months but they're just hitting him now. So he gets up and away from them as fast as he can, ignoring the hurt look on Rodney's face.

Primacy [read on my website] - (PG|~7,100 words|slash|John/Rodney|episode tag to The Shrine|originally started for catenip in honour of sheafrotherdon's birthday, finished for mcsmooch in celebration of this good news from the new U.S. President)
It’s most of a week before it starts to come back, but Rodney always remembers this: the terror at waking alone, blind panic driving him out into the corridors, only one goal on his mind, only one place where he’d be safe.

John.


Fest and Challenge Fic:

Twelve Days' Breath [read on my website] - (PG|~3,800 words|slash|John/Rodney|written for the Not Dead Yet challenge on sga_flashfic)
Rodney's never been good with anything that lacked explanation. Not knowing how something works, why something works, leaves him feeling adrift, angry. Unsafe. Which is maybe the operative word for this particular situation. He stayed at arm's-length for most of his life for a very good reason - because only people close to you can hurt you, or in this case, scare you senseless by getting cut up by a lot of knives (because of Rodney's stupid mouth) and remain unconscious for far longer than can possibly be considered appropriate.

Consider the Hand [read on my website] - (gentle PG|~3,300 words|slash|John/Rodney|written for the mcsmooch community)
Teyla radios them three minutes into the storm, ten minutes past the time she and Ronon were supposed to be back at the Jumper, saying that they are waiting out the storm with the Headwoman's family. "Storm?" he says, bewildered, because really, it's just a little rain. Then abruptly it hits them like a fist, sheets and buckets of drumming water, a thunderous sound that seems to swallow them up, and he has to up the gain on his radio to hear what Teyla's saying.

Little Storms [read on my website] - (PG|~17,850 words|slash|John/Rodney|written for the Must Be Dreaming challenge on sga_flashfic)
“Jesus, McKay,” John says, and his voice is low, flat and icy. “I really thought you were better than this.”

When he turns and walks away, he’s not angry, not storming, but cold, and Rodney can’t read a damned thing even from the set of his shoulders as he disappears from sight.

He stands there, panting and confused, as the meaning of John’s words sets in. “What the hell does--” he says aloud, but he knows. He knows what it means.

Glad to the Brink of Fear [read on my website] - (G|~2,400 words|slash|John/Rodney|written for the Artword community on LJ, for the challenge 010: Reversed. Inspired by this lovely piece of art by unamaga.)
John’s not quite awake yet, but he’s aware of some things. The give of the mattress underneath his shoulder. The body-warmed air between the sheets. The slight chill of the room that tells him he’ll have to move, soon, if only to burrow deeper into the blankets.

In This Era of Liberty [read on my website] - (~35,600 words|PG|John/Rodney|written for the 2008 mcshep_match challenge, prompt: run the gauntlet)
They lose the Daedelus at the beginning of the fifth year. That's the first night John crawls into bed with him.

A Thousand Dancing Bears [read on my website] - (~4,200 words|PG|John/Rodney|written for mcsmooch's Emergency Smooching Session fo the week of August 18th)
They'd wrapped the baby in an emergency blanket, but around that he was snug in Rodney’s jacket, like he’d been when John and Ronon found them.

Most clearly John remembers the look on Rodney’s face when he saw John looking, eyes wide and almost scared.

It wasn’t much, followed by Ronon’s gruff “eyes on the road, Sheppard,” from the co-pilot seat, and his mutter of “hell of a thing,” a second later, as the gate appeared, bright clear blue in the middle distance.

And Christ, what Rodney did yesterday, John’s not sure he could have done. But that’s not new, not really.


Nothing You Could Do [read on my website] - (~1,600 words|G|John/Rodney|written for mcsmooch's Emergency Smooching Session of the week of August 18th, sort of tag to The Daedelus Variations)
But things are always happening that he can't control, not even a little, and then they lose Teyla. And they get her back, but there's a lot in between that first moment of heart-stopping terror and him skipping forty-eight thousand years and the end of the world and Rodney sulking over not getting to hold the baby and then, Teyla's placing Torren in his arms while Rodney beams and John makes fun. His head's spinning, and he feels himself making a face, because it feels like he's just fast-forwarded, like he's lived the last several months but they're just hitting him now. So he gets up and away from them as fast as he can, ignoring the hurt look on Rodney's face.

Mother Country [read on my website] - (~58,880 words|PG|John/Rodney|written for SGA Big Bang 2008, for the prompt: A political shift on Earth has repercussions in Pegasus.)
She’d said that to him early on, explained their strange equilibrium, explained that Sheppard was their leader but sometimes they had to make their own calls. That sometimes Sheppard let his loyalties get in the way of other things. It was what made him a good leader, Ronon had always thought, what made these people from Earth such a strange prospect, because they were such a mess of contradictions.

Ronon remembered thinking that in the beginning, finding it odd, that sometimes they seemed soft, or they wasted time talking, or they fixated on things that seemed trivial or stupid or nobody else’s business. So many of them were soft in body if nothing else, were used to being safe, or more, to believing in safety. It was such a foreign prospect that at first he’d thought them weak.

By now, though, he was used to it. He’d come to understand that while they were slow to act, they acted with conviction. That living so long so safely had let them create this deep-set notion of the universe, abstract and detailed as few Pegasus societies had leisure to envision, with the Wraith a constant looming certain threat. They were all so different, and yet all of them who’d come to Atlantis had in common that there were more important things than safety. Maybe they had only come to that decision because you could only discard the things you had, but it still lent them a certain reckless boldness that had saved their lives, the lives of countless other worlds, more times than Ronon could count. They were crazy, sure, but they were brave. They were smart. They still believed the world could be saved.


Now The People Will Know We Were Here (or: Everything I Know, I Learned From Heritage Minutes) [read on my website] - (~20,600 words|PG|John/Rodney|written for the 2008 McShep Happyfest.)
“Figure skaters?” Rodney eyes John critically. “Figure skaters. And weren’t they the ones with the floppy purple shirts?”

“Hey, I had a crush on Jayne Torvill,” John says, defensively, and is glad he’s wearing the hat, because his ears are suddenly burning. Yeah. Jayne Torvill. That was it.


Primacy [read on my website] - (PG|~7,100 words|slash|John/Rodney|episode tag to The Shrine|originally started for catenip in honour of sheafrotherdon's birthday, finished for mcsmooch in celebration of this good news from the new U.S. President)
It’s most of a week before it starts to come back, but Rodney always remembers this: the terror at waking alone, blind panic driving him out into the corridors, only one goal on his mind, only one place where he’d be safe.

John.


The Words That Bind [read on my website] - (~20,600 words|PG|Teyla/Kanaan, background John/Rodney|written for Day 1: Body Image of 14valentines)
Can a person's life be whittled down to so narrow a pinpoint, that a moment's glimpse could comprise all pride, love, yearning, passion? How? Teyla knows that this is a thing of vision, ofsight, of the brief scattershot communion Earth people seem to have with anyone outside of a handful of those tied to them by blood and long-term circumstance.

Rose Period [read on my website] - (PG|~2,900 words|slash|John/Rodney|written for artword for challenge 16: colours, art by ginaeon)
People die all the time and - and Rodney would rather it be someone other than John, that's all. Even if he has to make sure of it.

Moron [read on my website] - (PG|~2,400 words|slash|John/Rodney|written for mcsmooch)
"Oh, so you're talking to me, now? Also, it'll be fine?" Rodney says, in what would be a scathing tone if he weren't so obviously trying to cover his nipples with his forearms, and John has to pause and devote two full seconds of all his available brainpower to not thinking about Rodney's nipples, just like he spent several minutes while Rodney was pacing not staring at Rodney's ass.

Knitted Goods [read on my website] - (G|~1,300 words|slash|John/Rodney|written for cliche_bingo)
When it happens, it's just one of those weird things that happens when you're friends with Rodney McKay - random, bizarre, and the kind of thing you note, mock, and then carry on as though it's never happened. John walks into Rodney's quarters without knocking one day and finds Rodney sitting on his bed wearing a cardigan sweater with whales on it.

Running Tally [read on my website] - (G|~9,300 words|slash|John/Rodney, Rodney/Jennifer|written for mcshep_match)
"Have you noticed anything weird about Sheppard?"

Ronon regards Rodney thoughtfully. "He's happy. That's weird."

And trust Ronon to get right to the point.


Rounded with a Sleep [read on my website] - (NC-17|~16,700 words|slash|John/Rodney, Teyla/Kanaan | written for mcshep_match)
It's been almost four months of this, this somehow-natural thing he never saw coming, this thing that has become as necessary to him as breathing, as easy. This particular morning, this memory, was seventeen days ago.

Sixteen days ago, John died.

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