Chandri MacLeod (chandri) wrote,
Chandri MacLeod

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Well; Subcon was good. As cons are, you know. I hope you know. Had fun, did stuff, met cool people, and re-met others. I have Tim Tams. :) We went horse-back riding. We went to the beach. I got sunburned. We went to Disneyland and I went over thirty hours without sleep. That part was the most entertaining, I think.

We terrorized a Denny's. Poor waitress. One of these days, I'm going to make Damien come to a con. I really am. I am.

And then there's the cloud on the silver lining. As always, though, I feel a little bit unhappy, deep down. Of course I don't let them see it; I don't let them see it for the same reason I'm unhappy. I always feel in this community as if I'm on the edge, a little bit removed, a bit too new, not quite good enough, slightly ignored and removed from everyone else, no matter how strong the feeling of belonging and just indescribable joy that I'm part of such a *thing*.

My own fault, I know, not theirs. Comes from being socially reclusive for the most part for most of my life. It's no longer anyone's fault by my own. It's the only sliver of civilisation whose collective opinion I actually give a damn about; and they not only haven't got a good opinion of me - it's worse. They have none. Maybe I should have moved into the House after all.

Damn. Maybe if I get drunk at Dexcon...

Nah. :P

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