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Aug. 17th, 2005

Oh. Gods. Has anybody ever read The Beekeeper's Apprentice? Because... because... oh gods. It's a Mary Sue novel. Observe:

In 1915, long since retired from his observations of criminal humanity, Sherlock Holmes is engaged in a reclusive study of honeybee behaviour on the Sussex Downs. Never did he think to meet an intellect to match his own - until his acquaintance with Miss Mary Russell, a very modern fifteen-year-old whose mental acuity is equaled only by her audacity, tenacity, and penchant for trousers and cloth caps.

Under Holmes' tutelage, Russell hones her talent for deduction, disguises, and danger: in the chilling case of a landowner's mysterious fever and in a kidnapping in the wilds of Wales. But her ultimate challenge is yet to come. Soon the two sleuths are on the trail o fa murderer whose machinations scatter meaningless clues... but whose objective is quite unequivocal: to end Russell and Holmes's partnership - and their lives.

Oh, my poor, poor Watson! Tossed aside for a skinny little "audacious" scrap of a Sue! Oh, gods. Poor Holmes. Why, why do people do this? There are six others. And already I am in ways rooting for the villain. "A very modern fifteen-year-old?" Who cross-dresses? And is a "match for Holmes' intelligence?" Blasphemy! Profanity! *wibble* On the other hand, you have to admire the woman for getting published what many thousands of fangirls have probably written, up to and including me.

And this is for school. O.O


( 4 comments — Leave a comment )
Aug. 18th, 2005 02:38 am (UTC)
Oh, Ari. I found you a used copy of one of your mystery novels. Raymond Chandler The Big Sleep. There's still some on the shelves but if they run out there's one reserved under the staff holds in my name for you. Sorry I couldn't hang today, but for the next few weeks I'm gonna have to go back to pitt meadows after work every day to walk and feed my parent's dog Tera. Wanna come along for the fun of air that smells of cows rather than the river?
Aug. 18th, 2005 07:46 am (UTC)
I've got The Big Sleep already, actually. The only ones I still don't have (or haven't already bought)are the Norton Anthology, the Conan Doyle mini-book with Study in Scarlet and The Sign of Four, which I'm actually not sure I'll buy as I already own at least two copies of all the Sherlock Holmes stuff, Irrigated Eden, and something called Murder, Madness and Mayhem which I think is a coursepack.

Every day? That's a lot of riding the bus.
Aug. 19th, 2005 02:13 am (UTC)
Murder madness and mayhem is a courseware. You should Tell Dana that she should know better than to put that Mary Sue fic on in a university level course. Although in our chaucer class we read "Troilus and Criseda" - several hundred pages of middle english translation about a 14 year old boy in Troy dealing with puberty.

The first time he gets an erection he spends 8 pages of monologue CRYING. Then the girl he likes' uncle hears him and they have a little chat. It was MESSED UP.
Aug. 18th, 2005 02:40 am (UTC)
Additionally, re: the beekeeper's apprentice:

What the FUCK!?

Oh I had writey novel ideas. I figured out how to combine the things I wanted into a story. I like it. I like it good.
( 4 comments — Leave a comment )


Chandri MacLeod

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