Michael's Breakup Flashback:
KIM: *gasp* She's a bitch!
ME: I'm glad she died!
KIM: *from other room* Yeah!
ME: From Karma Cancer!
KIM: *falls on the floor*
WALT'S MOM: Blahblahblah, I'm a selfish bitch.
WALT: Pay attention to me!
WALT'S MOM: Ooh, I'm dizzy.
BRYAN: Really? *pets*
WALT: You're. Not. Listening!
BIRD: *thwacks into window*
ME AND KIM: *gasp*
ME: CANON ooky mind powers!
KIM: He made the bird hit the window!
Walt Reading About Polar Bears:
ME: The polar bear again. Foreshadowing?
KIM: Ew. Alien.
ME: Hah! Alien! Totally called it!
MICHAEL: So you like pictures, huh?
WALT: Stop trying to bond with me, man.
A Scene and a Half Later:
POLAR BEAR: Stand still so I can eat you, damnit!
KIM: Never saw that coming.
POLAR BEAR: *disappears briefly*
KIM: Oh no! It climbed the tree!
ME: How would a polar bear know how to climb a tree?
KIM: IT'S IN A JUNGLE.
Five Minutes Later, Bryan in Michael's Apartment:
BRYAN: Susan's dead.
BRYAN: She was only sick for about a week--
ME: Walt killed his mom!
ME: And the island WANTED WALT.
ME: Or maybe Walt invented the island!
Michael fetching Walt from Australia:
ME: You know, I just realized that Vincent is Australian.
ME: So the dog's internal monlogue must have an accent.
Charlie Reading Claire's Diary:
CHARLIE: There's a black rock! She's at the black rock!
JACK: Okay, Charlie, but there's no point running off into the jungle in the middle of the night...
Ten seconds later, Locke and Boone Combing the Jungle for the Puppy:
ME: Ooohhh. There's no point running off into the jungle in the middle of the night for Claire, but for a dog...
*creepy and distinctly un-puppy-like noise*
BOONE: Vincent, is that you?
ME: What's he think he's going to do, answer?
ME: "Yeah, Boone! I'm over here!"
ME: But in an Australian accent.
*ten minutes of CTV feed, then ABC feed cuts back in with last three minutes of episode and the Next Time On*
CHARLIE: Black rock, blah blah blah...
ME: I bet you a dollar that the black rock is the obelisk from Space Oddyssey: 2001.
KIM: And there's monkeys gathered all around it, stroking it.
ME: We haven't actually seen monkeys on the island, yet.
KIM: Because they're all deep in the jungle stroking the obelisk!
I'm sorry, but I still think Locke is cool. There's a method to his madness, damnit. A METHOD. I see it. *makes face* I was deeply amused by Boone playing sidekick. Hovering behind Michael, radiating: "Just twitch your nose, man, and I'll jump him." It was funny. Dorky, but funny.
I get it now, but every jackass tantrum Michael had during this episode had me going "Just shut *up*, dude." The knife thing? I could just see Locke thinking: "And maybe in case we all get eaten by monsters the kid should know how to hunt, jackass?"
"We're playing for the last of the deodorant sticks." Maybe it's just me, but what's the point of winning all the deodorant if no one around you is wearing any? Wouldn't that tend to accentuate everyone else's stinkiness? Slow your acclimation? *headshake*
Also, I feel obligated to note the outrageous Charlie/Claire's diary cuteness. I am also vastly unsurprised by Charlie being un-impressed by Sawyer. I *knew* he would be. Pity he had to get punched to prove it. Okay, that might be the soul-rending grief talking, but whatever. ;)
Hey, look! It's Claire! Sans baby. Saw that coming a million miles away. Pregnant Woman + Mysterious Magical Child-Eating Island = Bad Things. (And on that note, DAMN YOU ALL TO HELL, ABC, YOU AND YOUR RE-RUNS.)