August 27th, 2015


Adulting tricks

Tomorrow is my day off, and tomorrow morning, I have two appointments. Not only am I going to be on time for them both and go grocery shopping on the way home, but I am going to get up early and go for a run. Because I am a disciplined goddamn adult.

(If I write it down in public it will definitely get done.)

from Tumblr

Professional nonsense-writer

Me and the department chair (Awesome!Boss) are co-writing an executive summary for the latest joke VP (Educational Innovation? maybe?) to be appointed. We do these things so that the various do-nothing VPs know which departments are which and what we do, as if VPs ever interact directly with any departments, but whatever. 

Mostly this has been an exercise in cheesy Professional gibberish. We’ve passed the same document back and forth four times today, the latest a hardcopy with us on either side of her desk. We are both well beyond the point where the individual words have stopped parsing.

Me: Uh, well, I feel like “comprehensive” only needs to be in this sentence once.

Her: *drops head onto desk* Oh, what difference does it make. It’s all buzzwords and nonsense and they never read them anyway.

Me: *starts writing WHOMPWHOMPWHOMPWHOMP in the margins*

Her: *dissolves into helpless laughter*

Her: *continues to laugh for a further two minutes*

Co-Workers: *gather around her office door, concerned*

from Tumblr