July 18th, 2006


EwewewewewEW I want to track the bastard down.

I don't know what they are, but for a couple of weeks now we've been seeing these... there are two variants. There are itty-bitty ants-with-wings, and there are Fucking Huge ants-with-wings. I don't think they're actually ants. I *do* think they're the same bug. I'm now *sure* they're the same bug because I found the source, and they were both hanging (crawling) about with every evidence of friendly society.

The guy who lived here before us was evicted. WHY is blindingly obvious for many reasons - he destroyed the kitchen (presumably by flooding) and it's been fixed but none of the cupboards close right. The bathroom cupboards and walls are similarly warped. It's a lot of bits and pieces. The place wasn't cleaned at all before we moved in, and scrub though I did, we haven't gotten 'round to a full-scale filth purge yet.

Well, this morning I was in the bathroom, and I looked up, and saw a few dozen of the tiny-ants-with-wings and the Fucking Huge ants-with-wings crawling around the top moulding of the wall by the mirror. No, wait, they were crawling in and out from under the top moulding. FUCK. FUCKFUCKFUCK. (Not swarming, sort of leisurely wandering-about, but I DON'T FUCKING THINK SO as we're the ones who pay rent, and until they start they do *not* get to wander-about anywhere inside this apartment without our permission.)

So of course I ran for the bleach. And a spray bottle. And throwing all ecological sentiment to the wind, I bleached the FUCK out of that moulding. And the walls. And the floors. Good news: they don't like bleach.

Haven't seen any since, but the others may have fled deeper into the moulding. I don't *think* (I don't *hope*) they actually inhabit the wall, or the cupboard behind it, because ewewEW our towels are in there. I think it's just the moulding. I hope that when the manager comes and pulls it out, lots of bugs and a nice solid bit of wall will be revealed. I hope they're just living in there because the warped wood moulding made an easy crevice for them to live in. Otherwise I'm going to feel compelled to purify with fire, and I don't think the manager will like that.

calantha42 has called the manager, who isn't home, but with luck he'll have called back when I'm home, or better yet, come in and fixed it. 'Cause, EW.

And now I have to go to work. EW.
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It's almost like they know.

Having learned all sorts of skin-crawlingly accurate things about ants in the past half-hour, I can now say with some certainty that the big scary things are most likely Thief Ants, and the smaller ones Pharaoh Ants. They're both currently in their mating swarm season, which is why we suddenly had Ant Explosion Central in our bathroom. The Internets say that there's probably rotting wood behind the moulding (thanks, Guy-Before-Us), and that's why they're there - as it's easier to hollow out and build nests. It also says, as the manager said, that baits are the best way to get rid of them.

Loathe though I am to use insecticide. Ever. It's just... ew. Not fair, guys.

The manager's going to look them up, and the exterminator-guy who's here once a month is supposed to be here in a week or so - with any luck our invaders will stay gone until the day he comes, as then we'll have some samples to show him. I got rid of the ones on the counter, as they were icking me out. Not for being bugs, but for being dead and on my bathroom counter. Gyagh. *shudder*

And now, although we haven't seen them anywhere else, I keep going all skin-crawly in other rooms. And outside. And at work.

I want to find the fucker who preceded us in this apartment and dump a bucket of ants on *his* head, and see how he likes it. >.
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On a totally unrelated note, I still love my new camera.

Apparently our store got Mystery-Shopped on Saturday, and we got a really crappy rating. Which sucks, because a) I had Saturday off and therefore wasn't even there, and never dealt with the woman myself, b) we've never been Mystery-Shopped *before*, and I find it extremely bad form of them to wait until about eighteen minutes after our manager goes on leave for surgery to get us, and on a Saturday, the day from discount hell, at that, and c) the day before and the day after the Mystery Shopper came in, we did nearly a thousand dollars over budget, but on Saturday, an uncharacteristically slow day for sales, though totally insane for crowds, apparently, we just made our target. Bastards. I hate them. I want a new job.

In other news, half an hour ago, I attacked a fruit fly with my bare hands, screaming: "You and your people have come to expect leniency from me, but NO MORE! DIE! DIE!"

No, really. Ask calantha42. She looked worried.

I feel kind of bad about it. The fruit flies are our fault, when they're there. It's the ants. The fucking ants. Literally. *wary glare over shoulder*

(I didn't get it. Fruit flies are quick little buggers.)

I am becoming more and more deranged with every passing day. :(

Thank all the benevolent puppy-loving gods I've got Thursday and Friday off. Friday we're having the Great Purge, and by Purge I mean Bleach, wherein we take everything out of hte cupboards, scrub the fuck out of them, and put everything back into the cupboards, and then repeat same with the counters, sinks, and floors. In the kitchen and the bathroom, anyway. As they're the nasty bits.

Seriously. I'll write porn for whoever finds our predecessor for this apartment and visits some kind of insectoid horror upon him. And I hardly *ever* write porn, so you can see that my desire for revenge is great.

Okay. Sleep.

P.S.: Have fixed the pictures from that last picture post. Should work now.