August 9th, 2005


Two legs good. Eight legs bad.

Okay, so this is probably unbearably socialist of me, but does anybody else ever hear the Maquis bitching about their "abandonment" by the Federation and just want to scream with boredom?

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In other news, the nice manager man has removed the Gob of Buzzy Death on my balcony otherwise known as the wasp nest. The wasps have shown no new interest in the spot. Nor have any other bugs... except! Well, we'll get back to that. Anyway, I pruned all the balcony plants (as the balcony is no longer a Zone of Impending Death), watered things, and sprayed the former location of the Gob with diluted bleach, then for good measure misted the rest of the balcony not covered in plants, mostly to discourage them from returning. This may seem like overkill, but you are underestimating my irrational terror of wasps. Bad experience. Anyway.

Went to the store, got vegetables (Because while there for other things was seized with urge to improve The Soup recipe; will attempt switching out leeks for green onions, and adding a little tomato paste. Just a little. I'll let you know how it turns out.) Opened the balcony door when I got home, to attempt to lower the ambient temperature of the apartment a little, and was attacked by the largest spider I have ever seen outside of Science World. (See, I have this standing agreement with all creepy-crawlies inhabiting my apartment - I accept the fact that we must co-exist, and I tell them that so long as they don't crawl on me, eat my food, or sneak up on me, we can live in peace.) The exchange went as follows:

Me: *standing breathing in the air outside which is about ten degrees cooler than inside*
Spider The Size of a Hamster: *leaping onto foot* SURRENDER, HUMAN!
Me: AUGH! *shaking foot to dislodge spider*
Grandchild of Ungoliant: Mwahahah! You cannot defeat me! I am eternal! I am-- ack! *flies across balcony*
Me: I keep telling you people, just don't climb on me and we'll all be happier!
Spider: *clinging to bean-netting* You cannot simply flick me away, human! My kind walked the earth before your kind rose from the sea!
Me: *crouching down* Uh huh. And my kind's got bigger lungs. *blows spider from netting*
Spider: *spinning a web and coasting down to the garden two floors below* I will have my revenge, filthy biped! I will have my reveeeeeeeeeeee..... *trails off*
Me: *yelling after spider* And my lifespan's longer!
Neighbour Coming in Front Door Below Me: *concerned stare*
Me: *pointing* Um. Spider.
Neighbour: *smiles, nods, edges inside*